A Sid Stein Update

I recently appeared on the Coop and Tobin show on WPDH which broadcasts out of Poughkeepsie, New York. It was my second appearance on the show. The first time I discussed my book and had a rowdy good time fielding comments from irate callers. I was asked back to discuss my new adventures since my divorce. Hopefully, you have enjoyed reading about them.

I related tales of the various women I have dated since my divorce, including one about the woman who revealed to me that she survived breast cancer and had undergone reconstructive surgery. As you might already know, I was expecting to find some serious scarring from her surgery, but wasn't worried because I once had a college girlfriend who had undergone thoracic surgery which left a very long scar running the entire length of her torso. I figured that any scarring this woman had sustained could not be any worse. I was ready for anything. Ready for anything, that is, except what I eventually discovered. As I slipped off her bra, I learned that she was missing a nipple. One breast was entirely smooth! I was caught totally off-guard. I had never even heard of any such thing. Not even on Oprah, although to be honest, I don't watch Oprah that often. Sorry, Oprah. You are the queen of all media, but your show isn't on during a time when I regularly watch television.

Although I try to write as accurately as possible, I admit that on the radio, some things I say are not delivered quite as artfully. My actual words were, "As I slipped off her bra, I saw that she had only one nipple." Since the Coop and Tobin morning drive show is centered around comedy, one of the hosts asked if the sole nipple was located in the middle of her chest. There were probably a few chuckles heard over the radio waves after that question.

No one was making fun of breast cancer. I certainly wasn't and neither was the host who asked the question. In fact, Coop and Tobin raise money for a variety of causes as part of their show, and actually do a lot of good work. Unfortunately, not everyone saw it that way.

At some point in the show, a woman called up and began a ten minute rant condemning me and the show for making fun of breast cancer. She wouldn't let anyone get a word in edgewise, but Coop didn't want to cut her off for fear that listeners might think we really were making fun of breast cancer. Of course, we weren't. I know women in my own life who have been afflicted by breast cancer and I am sure everyone on the radio that day also know of women who have either survived cancer or even died.

At one point, the station manager called Coop, the main host. He was worried about the fallout from this woman's call and asked Coop to minimize the damage. I thought I was going to be asked to leave, but to the credit of Coop and his love of the first amendment, I wasn't.

One comment the caller made struck me because I do write about events in my life, including this woman with only one nipple. The woman wondered about the extent of the humiliation my date would endure if she was listening to the show. After all, the mere fact that this woman was forced to reveal her condition to me had to be very difficult in and of itself. And there I was, not only talking about it on the radio, but making fun of it too.

Honestly, I was not making fun of her condition. I was just telling the radio audience about the situations I have encountered since entering the dating scene after so many years. I simply feel that men need to know what kinds of things to expect after divorce. Besides, why aren't more people talking about the consequences of breast cancer. Sure, we know it's a horrible disease. We have heard about the horrors of cancer treatment. Still, there are many things which aren't talked about. Isn't knowledge a good thing?

I didn't have a chance to tell this on the radio, and I am not sure it would have been appropriate given the circumstances of the call, but I want to share it with you now. I actually dated this woman for some time after our first sexual encounter, one nipple and all. I considered her a good friend. However, I do know that she would not have suffered any humiliation from me talking about her on the radio. Why? She died. Car accident. Go figure. I hope she went quickly.

Sid Stein's Small World

Although I totally understand the idea behind "it's a small world," don't you think that the real magic is the fact that we live in a big world? If it was truly small, then all those small world stories wouldn't really mean that much. I mean, so what if you run into an old friend in a small world? Of course you would. It's why we call Albany, New York - Smalbany. You run into people you know all the time. It's just not that big a city. Still, one cannot discount the power of "it's a small world." I even talk about the "small world" syndrome in my book. I point out that a cheating spouse always needs to be careful no matter where he or she may be. You never know who you might run into. After all, it's a small world. I want to share one of my small world stories with you.

Some time after my divorce, I dated a woman from Bennington, Vermont, about 45 minutes from Albany. Not a bad ride, by the way, and Bennington is quite nice. Of course, she was curious about what I did for a living. I told her about my Sid Stein identity and the book I wrote. To my surprise, she had a Sid Stein story of her own.

She told me that a girlfriend of hers not only knew of Sid Stein, but hated his guts. This woman's husband apparently ordered my book and left it in the house where she then discovered it. It caused quite the domestic controversy. Why this idiot left my book where his wife could find it is beyond me and only proves my premise that men are stupid. After all, that's why I wrote the book in the first place. (Note to potential buyers of my book - Read it!)

Of course, my friend couldn't wait to tell her girlfriend that she not only met, but dated the infamous Sid Stein. From what I understand, her girlfriend was horrified at first. Later, she had second thoughts about me, or at least about the fact that her husband purchased my book. After all, had she not discovered the book, she might not have known exactly to what extent her husband was a treacherous scumbag. If you ask me, she probably knew that anyway, even if she was in denial about it.

I actually got to talk to this woman some time ago. She, and the woman I dated, were at lunch together when I called my friend. Intrigued, she asked to say hello to me. And she did. The conversation was brief, but I have to admit, it was a bit exciting to talk to her. According to my friend, the woman is quite cute. And if truth be told, I thought it would be wild if I took her out. Imagine dating the wife of a man who bought my book. Now, that would be quite the story.

So, for any of you out there who might be interested in cheating sometime, just remember - it's a Sid Stein small world. Be careful!