As you scroll through the profiles on Jdate, the Jewish dating site, patterns begin to emerge. I am sure this is true for most online dating sites. If you have been living in the dark ages until recently, then know this - women love to travel. Some even "love love love" to travel. Okay, I got it the first time. Many women stress this "love" as if it is something unique to them. I even suspect that a woman’s desire to travel has something to do with more than just not having to make dinner. Call me crazy, but most people I know love to travel. It’s really not so unusual. What’s interesting on Jdate, though, is that travel seems to have become more than it is or should be. It’s downright competitive. More than a few seem to judge their self-worth solely by the nature of the destinations they have visited. The more exotic the better.
Personally, I don’t think that a trip to Borneo should be a litmus test for a relationship, but that’s just my opinion. "What do you mean? You have never been to Borneo? What kind of loser are you? Stop wasting my time!" Or, "if you haven’t scaled Everest or Kilimanjaro, then you aren’t climbing on top of me either!" Since a lot of women insist on traveling, I thought it might be good for me to consider a career in travel. What could be better?
People define travel differently. For some, ten trips to Las Vegas and five to Disneyworld is travel. For many others, we are talking India, New Zealand, Antarctica, Nepal, Madagascar, and, last but not least, Machu Picchu. Apparently, quite a few Jewish women have a deep-rooted desire to get in touch with their Incan past. Forget about Europe. If you haven’t been there at least 30 times, don’t even bothering sending an exploratory email. A worthy destination is defined as a place where you need the following: a passport, a visa, immunizations against yellow fever, Japanese encephalitis, Hepatitis B, meningococal meningitis, cholera, plague and an Ebola contamination suit.
The more I talk to these women, the more I start to wonder how they have time for work or, more importantly, at least as I am concerned, dating. Why are they even on a dating site? They aren’t even around for coffee. It’s more likely that they are picking their own coffee beans in Sumatra. I admit that it’s good coffee. I drink it. I am just not sure if it’s economical to travel halfway around the globe for a cup of coffee. How much can you drink anyway? Do they even have biscotti in Sumatra?
At this point, you may be wondering why I care. So what if a woman wants to travel? I already said that it’s not unusual. Okay, I’ll be honest. It’s personal. I live in Albany, New York, 2.5 hours north of New York City, where many of these women live. There aren’t many Jewish women in my local area. I could move, but I am staying here for the near future. So, I have been compelled by circumstances to expand my horizons. What’s the problem? As much as these women are willing to catch a plane to explore the heart of Africa, Albany is too far for them. "2.5 HOURS?! Are you kidding me? That’s too far!"
It’s confusing to say the least. True love might be waiting for them just 2.5 hours away. What do they really want? Love or adventure? Can you have both? Is there time for both? It’s easy enough to travel when you are single, but what if you have kids?
There are a few paradoxes involved here. China is not too far, but Albany is. I, the man, am looking for true love. These women are looking for adventure. On the other hand, I know damn well that if I just wanted to go on adventures, they wouldn’t want me. They would want to keep an eye on Sid Stein. Good luck finding a husband in Myanmar (that’s Burma, in case you forgot they changed the name).
Hey, if you’re dead set against dating a guy who hasn’t been to Southeast Asia, check out your local Veterans’ Administration Hospital. It’s not as if I don’t like to travel. I just haven’t been to very many places. And, I can guarantee you that I have lived outside of the United States for more time than most of these women. I was married to an Israeli in Israel when I was 24 years old. We lived there for almost 3 years. Altogether, I have spent a solid 10% of my life there. Not too shabby if I do say so myself. And, it was quality time. I really got to know the people, language and culture. I did more than just have my picture taken in front of Angkor Wat. If I hadn’t married an Israeli, I probably would have seen more of the world. It’s just that when we already had time to travel, we would go to see the ex’s family. What was I supposed to do? Deny her an opportunity to see her loved ones? And, I go to New Orleans every year. My sister lives there. New Orleans is never boring and some people even speak French!
There is another aspect to this problem. The financial part of the equation. With the high cost of living in NYC, how do these women afford such exotic vacations? Some do make a lot of money. Still, I think there is more to it than that. My theory is that they save money elsewhere. The go online, make a few dates each week, and have guys take them out to dinner. They don’t have any food expenses! No wonder they have money for travel. And, they get to try new restaurants at home. What a deal!
As Dorothy Gale answered the Tin Woodsman: "Well, I - I think that it - it wasn't enough to just want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em - and it's that - if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with! Is that right?"
And, of course: "Oh, but anyway, Toto, we're home. Home! And this is my room, and you're all here. And I'm not gonna leave here ever, ever again, because I love you all, and - oh, Auntie Em - there's no place like home!"
And she lived in friggin’ Kansas. Albany is way better! And closer!
Personally, I don’t think that a trip to Borneo should be a litmus test for a relationship, but that’s just my opinion. "What do you mean? You have never been to Borneo? What kind of loser are you? Stop wasting my time!" Or, "if you haven’t scaled Everest or Kilimanjaro, then you aren’t climbing on top of me either!" Since a lot of women insist on traveling, I thought it might be good for me to consider a career in travel. What could be better?
People define travel differently. For some, ten trips to Las Vegas and five to Disneyworld is travel. For many others, we are talking India, New Zealand, Antarctica, Nepal, Madagascar, and, last but not least, Machu Picchu. Apparently, quite a few Jewish women have a deep-rooted desire to get in touch with their Incan past. Forget about Europe. If you haven’t been there at least 30 times, don’t even bothering sending an exploratory email. A worthy destination is defined as a place where you need the following: a passport, a visa, immunizations against yellow fever, Japanese encephalitis, Hepatitis B, meningococal meningitis, cholera, plague and an Ebola contamination suit.
The more I talk to these women, the more I start to wonder how they have time for work or, more importantly, at least as I am concerned, dating. Why are they even on a dating site? They aren’t even around for coffee. It’s more likely that they are picking their own coffee beans in Sumatra. I admit that it’s good coffee. I drink it. I am just not sure if it’s economical to travel halfway around the globe for a cup of coffee. How much can you drink anyway? Do they even have biscotti in Sumatra?
At this point, you may be wondering why I care. So what if a woman wants to travel? I already said that it’s not unusual. Okay, I’ll be honest. It’s personal. I live in Albany, New York, 2.5 hours north of New York City, where many of these women live. There aren’t many Jewish women in my local area. I could move, but I am staying here for the near future. So, I have been compelled by circumstances to expand my horizons. What’s the problem? As much as these women are willing to catch a plane to explore the heart of Africa, Albany is too far for them. "2.5 HOURS?! Are you kidding me? That’s too far!"
It’s confusing to say the least. True love might be waiting for them just 2.5 hours away. What do they really want? Love or adventure? Can you have both? Is there time for both? It’s easy enough to travel when you are single, but what if you have kids?
There are a few paradoxes involved here. China is not too far, but Albany is. I, the man, am looking for true love. These women are looking for adventure. On the other hand, I know damn well that if I just wanted to go on adventures, they wouldn’t want me. They would want to keep an eye on Sid Stein. Good luck finding a husband in Myanmar (that’s Burma, in case you forgot they changed the name).
Hey, if you’re dead set against dating a guy who hasn’t been to Southeast Asia, check out your local Veterans’ Administration Hospital. It’s not as if I don’t like to travel. I just haven’t been to very many places. And, I can guarantee you that I have lived outside of the United States for more time than most of these women. I was married to an Israeli in Israel when I was 24 years old. We lived there for almost 3 years. Altogether, I have spent a solid 10% of my life there. Not too shabby if I do say so myself. And, it was quality time. I really got to know the people, language and culture. I did more than just have my picture taken in front of Angkor Wat. If I hadn’t married an Israeli, I probably would have seen more of the world. It’s just that when we already had time to travel, we would go to see the ex’s family. What was I supposed to do? Deny her an opportunity to see her loved ones? And, I go to New Orleans every year. My sister lives there. New Orleans is never boring and some people even speak French!
There is another aspect to this problem. The financial part of the equation. With the high cost of living in NYC, how do these women afford such exotic vacations? Some do make a lot of money. Still, I think there is more to it than that. My theory is that they save money elsewhere. The go online, make a few dates each week, and have guys take them out to dinner. They don’t have any food expenses! No wonder they have money for travel. And, they get to try new restaurants at home. What a deal!
As Dorothy Gale answered the Tin Woodsman: "Well, I - I think that it - it wasn't enough to just want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em - and it's that - if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with! Is that right?"
And, of course: "Oh, but anyway, Toto, we're home. Home! And this is my room, and you're all here. And I'm not gonna leave here ever, ever again, because I love you all, and - oh, Auntie Em - there's no place like home!"
And she lived in friggin’ Kansas. Albany is way better! And closer!
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